In the summer of 2007 Cleveland SGS, with a little help from their alien friends, coined the phrase, “Cleveland punishes those who build for kings“. By this we mean that if we design our likeness after so-called “winning” places, Mother Cleveland will relentlessly punish us from now until the end of time. Now that you know the recipe to never-ending suffering throw out the ingredients and start a new. Trust SGS, this knowledge is pure and will release you from the burdens of life. Build for your self, not for kings.

One of the greatest gifts Ken Lanci has given the people of Cleveland is the gift of a handsomely designed backdrop, perfect for both portrait and group photography*. In many ways Lanci’s red, white, and blue eagle-burst graphic is the backdrop to our own political aspirations. The tanned Lanci hand resting on a cream colored faux-Victorian couch is a subtle nod to the everyman that anything is possible in our beloved city.

Some call his bid for County Executive a fantasy … we call it a Ken Lantasy.

* Commonly referred to as a “Lance-Up”

Ken Lanci’s appeal to the 10-17 year old age demographic is truly amazing. When asked, 72.3% of children surveyed cited Lanci’s “gangster” style as his most admirable attribute. As many of us know Lanci is a legitimate businessman who has never to our knowledge been involved in criminal activities; he does however possess a street flash-n-swagger that is absent from machine politics, this could account for his popularity amongst urban youth. After all Lanci is the only candidate who is both from the projects* and willing to work on them with others.

* Source

On our way to the slave ship SGS had the pleasure of meeting the above pictured three guys. Coming from a peaceful night of slumber at the affordable Inn at TwentyOneHundred, the three guys interrupted their morning routine to talk politics and fashion with SGS.

One of the more interesting topics addressed was Ken Lanci’s bid for County Executive. The three guys were all in agreement that Lanci is solely responsible for reuniting fashion and politics in the Cleveland area. Not since Mayor Perk had they seen such a beautifully crafted head of hair and pearly white teeth. We were all in agreement that Lanci’s monogrammed french cuffs and golden tan were enough to make George Hamilton blush.

The meeting with the three guys reaffirmed our belief that you never really know your city until you stop random people on the street and ask them questions that make little sense. Ken Lanci, much to our surprise, is truly the people’s candidate. Young and old, black and white, seem to support the candidacy of Ken Lanci. It was told to us by the three guys “Shit …. if we’re gonna have a casino we need a politician who looks like he was born in one!”

On the corner of 116 and Buckeye there is a friendly man named Shaughnessy, a lounge once called R D’s and plenty of manufactured hair. Up the street is Daily’s meat pies and wandering goons. In between is Food Town Supermarket the home of cheap snacks and fine art. Maybe next time we visit Obama will be giving the thumbs-up.

Southwest corner of East 55th and Cedar.

SGS found this ad for an unsuccessful mayoral bid by Martin L. Sweeney in the Cleveland Call and Post. The September, 1941 ad was meant to reach out to Cleveland’s African-American voters. When most Clevelanders today read the name Martin Sweeney they think of our current council president and his alleged scandals and current work at City Hall.  

The real Sweeney scandal actually took place during the time Elliot Ness was Safety Director of Cleveland. Ness investigated Dr. Francis E. Sweeney numerous times in connection with the Torso murders.  Francis was the first cousin of Martin so Ness had to be careful about questioning the relative of a local political hotshot. It did not help matters that both Martin L. Sweeney and Ness were not fond of each other.

As the torso murder saga lives on theories still abound that Francis E. Sweeney was the real mad butcher–even though he was never tried for any of the related crimes.  For more information on the Sweeney family during this time check out this amazing synopsis of events from the tru crime library.

SGS has always been interested in local boy Howard Metzenbaum.  The life-long politician and parking lot magnate was known in the senate as the, “Conscience of the Senate”, and the “Champion of the People”.  The Western Reserve Historical Society is working on the Metzenbaum Project, and we are looking forward to checking it out.

We thought we would post this rare political ad from a 1948 Metzenbaum campaign that we found in the Cleveland Jewish Independent. 

This is a advertisement for a 1938 Cleveland School Levy campaign.  The ad was found in the Cleveland Gazette.  The Gazette ran in Cleveland from 1883-1945. The paper was run by local African Americans, and earned the nickname the “Old Reliable”.